3 Ways to Forgive Others: The Path to Peace and Acceptance
Welcome back everyone! Today I want to share the emotional weight of a grudge and the freedom that comes with truly letting go. We’ll dive into how forgiveness is more for you than for the other person and explore a few tips for becoming more forgiving.
Forgiveness is for You
Forgive others, not just for their sake, but for your own well-being. Holding a grudge weighs down your mood, your energy, and your physical being. While you’re consumed by bitterness, the other person often isn’t dwelling on the conflict nearly as much as you are. And on top of the dwelling, it clouds your judgment, poisoning future relationships with the anger and unresolved emotions you carry forward. By expanding your capacity for forgiveness, you acknowledge the hurt someone caused you without excusing it—but you choose to forgive for the sake of your own peace.
My Journey Toward Forgiveness
During my childhood, there was a parental figure who hurt me repeatedly, in ways that scarred me deeply. When I grew old enough to recognize the abuse for what it was, I cut off contact and spent years hating him. I poured so much energy into this hatred, carrying it with me day after day. Meanwhile, he was living his life, likely unaware of the extent of my resentment.
I became exhausted from holding onto so much anger. It was consuming me. One day, I decided to write a private letter, expressing how I forgave him—not for his sake, but for mine. I acknowledged the pain and abuse but made peace with the fact that we are all just people trying to navigate life, often in imperfect ways. His actions were born out of fear and a flawed perspective of the world, and while I was the recipient of his anger, it was never truly about me.
Writing that letter was freeing. I didn’t need to confront him or seek an apology. I let go for my own peace of mind, not for his approval. Now, I can even see him through a lens of compassion. The grudge no longer weighs me down. I kept that letter, but for some, burning or tearing it up might be the symbolic release they need.
Three Tips for Letting Go of Grudges
I want to leave you with three powerful tips for becoming more forgiving. You can try them individually or together—whatever feels right for you.
Write a Goodbye Letter: I found incredible release by writing a letter to the person I was forgiving. In doing so, I released all my pent-up anger and emotion without needing to confront him directly. When you hold a grudge, that person still holds power over your emotions. A letter allows you to reclaim that power. Use this as your way to say, “I accept what happened, and now I’m saying goodbye.”
Visualize Release: Imagine the grudge as a weight on your body. Mentally describe it: What color is it? What shape does it take? What texture does it have? Once you have this vision, push it off your body and watch it float away into the distance. Notice that it doesn’t get destroyed, but it no longer controls the way you feel. Take in the lightness that comes when it lifts from your shoulders.
Reframe the Narrative: Instead of focusing on the pain you endured, make a list of how the experience helped you grow. How did it shape you? What lessons did it teach you? Reclaim the power that situation took from you by recognizing that it, in some way, made you stronger. Remember, as the saying goes, “hurt people hurt people.” Often, those who harm us are acting from their own unresolved pain. Realizing this can help you approach the situation with empathy, which is the first step toward true forgiveness.
By choosing to forgive, you aren’t excusing bad behavior—you are prioritizing your own peace and happiness. Let go of the grudge, and step into the freedom that forgiveness offers.
If you found this post helpful, please click here to read some inspiring affirmations about the power of forgiveness.
